AISHA'S STORY At the base of the majestic Parc des Volcans in the north-western part of Rwanda, in the town of Musanze, is a household headed by 19 year-old Aisha. She always has a smile on her face but a talk with her provides a glimpse to a life that would be near-impossible for some of us to even fathom I * was introduced to Aisha and her siblings by Mr. Elie Nduwayesu, a modest man with a big dream for the poor children of Musanze. This is Aisha’s story: “My siblings and I lived with our parents up to 2004, when my father passed away. My mother later confided in me since I was the eldest, that my father had died of the disease called HIV/AIDS. She asked me not to tell my siblings so as not to cause them any discouragement and worry. Later in 2005, my mother too succumbed to the same disease. It is then that I became the provider for my four siblings, who by then were aged 13, 11, 9 and 7.” Aisha looks pensive as she talks of her family, as though it is a distant memory that she has to delve deep to retrieve. She speaks in Kinyarwanda: “After my parents’ died, I left school in class 5 to fend for my siblings. It was really difficult and my younger sister, Sophia, also was pushed out of school to help support the family.” The three other children go to school since primary education is free in Rwanda, but their lack of school materials and uniforms is a psychological war they may soon lose. They stand out in their classes due to their situation. Their lack of food also hampers their concentration. They run home anytime it becomes unbearable Sophia, the second-born, told us that sometimes when she was in school, she would be so hungry that she would be unable to even stand, leave alone concentrate on her class proceedings At home, they sometimes find vegetables in an adjacent garden that is not theirs, so they can only pick wild growing plants, nothing else in this garden with a lot of plants, vegetables and root crops “A few months ago, someone raped me. I became pregnant and gave birth to Hirwa.” (Hirwa means “blessing” in Kinyarwanda). When asked about the name, Aisha says it wasn’t the child’s fault that she was raped, so she named him blessing to keep the pain and trauma away from her relationship with her newborn baby Elie has been immensely supportive of Aisha. With a MSc. in Psychology, he has been counseling Aisha and helping her recover from the trauma To support her siblings and baby, Aisha sells charcoal, and when business is low she also doubles as a public phone attendant and could make between 500 and 1000 Rwandan Francs a day (less than 2 US dollars) on which the six of them are dependent “This charcoal and the public phone don’t bring enough money, and I would like to learn other skills to increase the daily income to support my family. Since the small profit I get cannot support us, I cannot save any money, and even sometimes we use the capital, and business stops for a while until we recover.” Their latest predicament lies in their housing. The structure that Aisha and her siblings were born in and have always called home is actually not theirs. Some months ago the apparent owner of the land told Aisha that someone had paid a deposit for the land, and as soon as the rest of the money was paid, she would be forced to vacate the land. Supposedly, Aisha’s parents had a friend who allowed them to settle on the land, but he later died. The land went through the traditional inheritance process and the new owner, a relative to the deceased initial owner, has already sold the piece of land, oblivious of the repercussions this move will inflict on Aisha’s household I asked Aisha to tell me what she wanted the world to know about her child-headed household, and this is what she said: “Children who are heads of households did not volunteer for the tasks they face everyday. They are just victims but have to live with the responsibility. We have the will to support our siblings the best way we can but the means are just not there. We want our siblings to lead better lives in the future but how can we make sure they do? We would be very, very grateful if anyone comes to our help.” The structure the 5 siblings and the little Hirwa live in is, in reality, a death trap. The mud walls are worn out badly, the roof leaks and the siblings relocate several times to different corners of the house when it rains. Aisha told me, “I can’t even sleep at night because I get dreams of our house falling on me, my siblings and my baby. I also can’t sleep because I worry about the owner of the land. If he tells us to leave, where will I take my siblings and my baby? My heart is not calm because for three years, I have not found a solution to this problem.” This is just one of the many child-headed households that Elie’s study found. There are a massive 94,207 children living in child headed households around Rwanda, where USAID estimates show the country has the highest percentage of orphans under 15 years in the world. Elie Nduwayesu’s study identified 1575 vulnerable children in one sector of Musanze alone, that he aims to incorporate in recovery and self-development through his Fair Children /Youth Foundation (FCYF). Initially without a single donor or sponsor, Elie used almost all his monthly income to set up this project, and for a good cause Sitting on an old tire outside the house, I look at Aisha and wonder how one person could have gone through all this, how she and her siblings were living each day, and what I could do to help them. The only way I could do this was to use my network of friends and hope that through them, the world would know and someone’s heart would be touched enough to reach out to this forgotten family. We already found one friend that paid for the health Insurance of Aisha, her baby and her siblings. This is just a start, and we hope this sign of goodwill will continue. No help is too small * About the author: Kevin Sudi is a volunteer coordinator at a Kenyan NGO, the Common Ground Program (CGP), based in Kitale, Kenya. Kevin spent a part of 2008 volunteering with FCYF, and it was during this time that he met Aisha and asked if he might tell her story to the world. She graciously consented, in the hope that people in other lands might better understand her situation and that of so many young Rwandan women like her, who are all struggling as young heads of households to raise their siblings and babies in love and dignity. 2011 Update: We have kept this story on our website because Kevin's article illustrates so compellingly the situation still faced by so many of our teenage girls who become young mothers before they are equipped with the resources to cope with parenthood. Aisha is now 21 and was later invited to marry Hirwa's father. Uncertain of her future but exhausted by the ongoing heavy responsibility of caring for her young household alone, she chose to move with their son to live with him. The challenge of maintaining the household now fell on Sophie, her younger sister. Sophie has received ongoing support from FCYF, where she attends meetings with other orphaned heads of household, and has been encouraged to return to school... |       Special thanks are due to the Elliot family in Canada for making it possible for Kevin to visit and work in Musanze, as well as for their support to orphans |
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Aisha's Story |